My First Book — Coming Soon

Over the past year, I’ve made mention several times about an anthology of young adult Catholic voices that I’ve been working on. Last week, my co-editor and I heard back from the publisher, and this morning we confirmed that the project is a go. The book will be available in the fall, hopefully by September, in print and ebook editions. I can’t wait to hold it in my hands, and more importantly, to share these stories of passionate, gutsy, smart young adult Catholics with the world.

I’m also excited to be moving into the phase of book production that has before now been purely hypothetical to me. Although I’ve seen dozens of magazines, one poem, and one short story through publication, this will be the first time that I’m moving through the post-acceptance process of something that I’ve pulled together on my own, and not because I was hired to do so by someone else. I also very much appreciate knowing that I’m “on the right track,” as our publisher referred to our submission as one of the “most professional proposals” he’s ever seen. That’s encouraging, since I’m now regularly putting together similar proposals to shop my young adult novel to agents and publishers.

If you want to meet some of the writers featured in the upcoming Hungering and Thirsting for Justice anthology, check out the Young Adult Catholics blog. And if you’d like to read some high-quality, thought-provoking Catholic/Christian/Spiritual literature, definitely check out ACTA Publications, a publisher I admired years before knowing they would publish my first book project. In particular, I recommend one of their newest offerings, Grace Notes by Brian Doyle, and the book that first put them on my radar, Remaining Catholic: Six Good Reasons for Staying in an Imperfect Church by Martin Pable. I have a long list of additional books from their catalog on my “To-Read” list. They’re definitely a publisher to watch, and I’m thrilled to be working with them.

On miracles

I posted at the Young Adult Catholics blog today about the issue that has been dominating my personal life throughout the month of September; while I was at the book release party I mentioned in my previous post, my grandmother was busy accomplishing miracles. I wrote about it in One Miracle, One Thousand Lessons.

Why I Write: Because I’m Not Always Brave

Last night, I posted Ask Any Scientist! to Young Adult Catholics. The post argues against using “science” as a justification of homophobia. I knew as I was conceiving of, writing, and publishing the post that I was more likely to get flamed for it than to get support, as the commenters most active on that blog are those who like to pick it apart. My tone was a little more snarky than usual (homilies against same-sex marriage tend to bring out the snark in me), and even when I take the least offensive tone possible, my posts about women’s ordination and just treatment of GLBTQ individuals always get flamed.

For a moment, this made me wonder if making the post was worth it at all. Because I get weary of having people rail at me as if I’m a terrible person because I disagree with what my institution dictates that I believe. It always feels like a personal attack, as my Catholicism (and my feminism, and my bisexuality) are all core facets of my identity, so that attacking any one of these things feels like you’re attacking me and not an idea. I am Catholic. I am a feminist. I am bisexual. These are not ideas. These are the realities of living in my skin. I’m sorry if my reality is offensive to you (actually, I’m not. But I am sorry that I can’t live out my reality and speak my truth in peace, when doing so isn’t hurting anyone.)

Sure enough, the first comment I got on my post was one comparing my argument to the reasoning that eugenicists use. Often, I don’t even respond to these comments because it’s draining, and these people are never interested in dialogue. This time, I did respond. Whether I have the energy to continue the conversation remains to be seen.

Last night as I was deciding whether to go through with the post or not, two things pushed me forward. One was my deadline. I didn’t want to miss it, nor did I want to switch gears at the last minute when I’d struggled most of the day deciding on a topic to begin with. But the second reason was by far the more important one: I wondered, if we are not able to write about what we truly believe, if we are not able to write from our core, even when what’s at our core is pain or embarrassment or snarkiness or fear, then what good is writing at all? If I allow fear to start dominating my writing, then I lose a certain amount of integrity as a writer. And sometimes, my writing self is the one place where I feel my integrity remains intact.

Because here’s the truth: I let fear dominate my actions in real-life far too often. Although I write about being bisexual, there are still people I’m not “out” to in my real life. As my marriage to a man approaches, there are hundreds of people who I know now and will know in the future who will never see me as anything but straight, and I don’t go out of my way to correct them. Last week, I bit my tongue in response to two homophobic remarks. Both times, I rationalized my silence based on “professionalism” (since both happened within a work context.) Both times, I knew why I really remained silent: fear. Fear of being uncomfortable. Fear of having my professionalism compromised. Fear of “forcing” my ideas on others. Fear of many things, but ultimately, just plain old fear nonetheless.

Obviously, I don’t try to hide that hard. The Internet is not exactly a private place, and publishing is not exactly a private act. I know that a quick Google search could lay bare the many things I don’t always talk about in my day-to-day life. So I do consider this writing, knowing there could be offline repercussions, as an act of bravery. But sometimes, my writing feels like the only place in my life where I live up to the type of bravery and honesty I value. And that’s why it’s so important to keep doing it.

Back on the YAC bandwagon

What do science fiction novels, OCD, and Catholicism have in common? My brain, apparently, which is what I explored in today’s post for Young Adult Catholics.

Poem #15, Writers Group, and a Meeting w/ a Publisher

Cats for a Day

Every morning I used to ask my cat,
“Why don’t we switch things up a bit?
This time, you go to work,
and I lay around all day.”

She blinked, chirped, walked away.
I grumbled about how some people
just don’t pull their own weight.

But do you remember the time
we decided to play cats-for-the-day?
More commonly known
as playing hooky.

You had the day off work
and I had a bit of an ache in my arms
and my period –
not enough to keep me home,
except that you looked so cozy
in your bed, goading me:
“You should do it. Call in sick
and hang out with me.”

For seven years we shared small spaces
cheered each other up onto our soap boxes
had conversations in broken Spanish
played guitars and cards at the kitchen table.
Even then, I knew those nights of movies
and reading books aloud
were our glorious moments of stretching out
basking in the sun
just because it was there.
Two kittens dashed across
slippery tile floors
as two women lay on two sides
of the same wall
and reached out their voices
where their hands didn’t touch.
Except for the nights when talking
wasn’t enough and my body shook
and the tears came rushing down my face
as fast as you came rushing into my room.

But then one day, you wore an expensive white dress
and we had a big party
and that meant that it was time for you to share
small spaces with someone else,
curled up with him in bed just like
kittens curled up on the couch.

And so I have no regrets
about the half lie I once told
so that I could spend the day
beside you on a scratchy green couch.
Not an ounce of guilt
for when we finally gave in
to our desire to be
cats for a day.

I think I can officially count myself “caught up” for that one missing poem, since I technically wrote three poems on Saturday night, all of them about my childhood relationship with My Little Ponies (there was a My Little Pony pic that I used as a prompt in my Picto-Journal). Two of them were terrible, and really what just felt like a ‘warm-up’ for the third, which might actually be worth salvaging. But nobody ever said these poem-a-day creations had to be good! (If that were the case, I wouldn’t be able to count the dreadful six-liner I jotted out last night while my boyfriend was in the bathroom, but count it I did!!)

I met with my writers group tonight via webcam, which was an exciting change full of the suspense of wondering what-in-the-world-the-person-on-the-other-end-might-be-saying. Dropped connections, distorted voices, and frozen videos abound, but it was still really lovely to hear the voices and see the faces of my writing posse. They’ve promised to scope out better Internet possibilities. Technology could be so wonderful if only it would work!

I’ve been saving the best bit for last: I have a phone meeting on Friday with a publisher who is interested in an anthology of young, Catholic voices. I fielded his “fan-mail” to one of the Young Adult Catholics blog writers last week and decided to respond with a bit of a pitch. We had interest from a Catholic publisher over a year ago in doing a similar project, but his team decided our voices were just too dissident for their press. The press I’ll be talking with on Friday is much more comfortable with dissidence–and that’s the kind of press I like!

Is procrastination a sufficient writing goal?

I’m sorry to say that I haven’t touched my novel in about a week, but nor have I often had to write the dreaded word NONE on my writing spreadsheet every day. I’ve been keeping up better with the poem-a-day challenge better than I’ve ever been able to in the past. (Despite the fact that I’ve won NaNo three times, I’ve NEVER successfully completed a poem-a-day-for-one-month challenge. I came closest in April of 2009, mostly thanks to this blog, I think).

I think I’ve done so poorly with poetry challenges because I have this misconception that poetry is easier than prose. I mean, you don’t have to really worry about “what will happen” or “resolving” anything, right? But you do. You have to worry about it every single day, every single creation. So while it may not rely as heavily on ability to sustain long-term tension, I can’t pretend the need for a good beginning, middle, and end aren’t there. I’m also reading The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry because it was the most enticing, current anthology I found at the library. And what do you know? Just as I suspected, reading poetry DOES help in writing poetry. I AM one day behind on my poems, by the way, because I was too exhausted after a sleep-deprived weekend and 9-ish hour drive back from the CTA conference last weekend. But it was all worth it, and my latest entry at the Young Adult Catholics blog explains why. [AND tomorrow I will be revising the poems I managed to squeeze in the other two days of the conference, along with some other poems from this project scattered amongst various paperjournals. Hopefully I'll be posting something here.]

I’ve also been hoarding all sorts of neat writing links and discussions hoping to reflect on them here, but, I do worry about this blog’s ability to distract me from the novel that needs to be finished soon. Still, November is like an all-you-can-eat-buffet for writers, with excess writing tips and discussion everywhere. And it’s hard not to fill myself up to the brim with it all, and then pass it on to the audience of this humble blog as well. Who knew NaNoWriMo could still consume so much of my time even when I’m not participating? Still, I did pull together a write-in for teen NaNo-ers (and other teen writers) at the library next week, and I can’t wait. It may be the perfect stretch of time for me to finish draft three of ETD at last (and it may also be the perfect excuse to keep procrastinating whipping that last chapter into shape until then!)

NaNo-ers, My Heart is With You!

The badges are so pretty this year!

Well, it’s here! For writers and would-be writers everywhere, this is the day you’ve been waiting for. November 1st, the official start of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Well do I remember the joys, the sorrows, the euphoria, the stress, the comraderie! of this month of exuberant, frantic writing. And although I’m not participating this year, I am hoping to do all I can to support those who are: I created a NaNoWriMo page for the girls at NewMoon.com (which will also be featuring writing tips on the homepage all month long), I’m using my adult power and influence to pressure teens at the library to participate, and I’m planning to spy on and harass my friends who are participating (0 words so far, for shame!! If you’re participating and would like me to harass you, leave a comment with your NaNo username below — mine is sedeara.)

I certainly won’t be slacking on my writing this November, though! Besides asking my friends and associates, “Are you writing? Are you writing? Are you writing?”, I’ll also be:

1. Writing poetry every day for the PAD Chapbook Challenge. Poetry is not my strong suit due to the fact that I don’t read a lot of poetry, so I’ll be doing that this month, too. I intend to rely heavily on my Picto-Journal for inspiration (I’ll be adding some new pics to it tonight). I also plan to convert the daily “writers block” prompts over at LiveJournal as poetry prompts. And, I hope to bust out the guitar for the first time in 11 months and try to write a song for the first time in 4 (yikes!) years. And of course, I can’t forget magnetic poetry! I hope to share some of my efforts here.
2. Finishing the third draft of ETD, which is, incidentally, my NaNoWriMo project from 2008 (written just as I was starting this blog).
3. Attending the Call to Action national conference in Milwaukee. I write for CTA’s 20/30 (young adult) blog, with my most recent post being about the Biblical idea of “holding all things in common.” (Is it Communism? Socialism? Democracy?) I’m excited to hang out with the other bloggers in person again, to be traveling to the event with my best friend, and to hopefully be gaining some inspiration for upcoming blog posts.
4. Fantasizing about what I would be writing if I WERE doing NaNoWriMo this year. Lately, I’ve become very preoccupied with an idea I have for retelling Rapunzel. Thus, I dressed as Rapunzel for Halloween and have been listening a lot to a Rapunzel concept album a friend made for me. How fitting that Disney’s Tangled (which I’ve been looking forward to for years) also comes out this month!

Rapunzel dreams of having a life outside the tower

Enjoy all the wonderful writing November has to offer! I know I will!

Where I’m Writing . . . and Where I’m not

Dialog and posts have unfortunately declined on the Young Adults Catholic blog in the past year or so. The blog is completely run by volunteer editors and writers, and it’s no surprise that all of us have pretty busy lives. I’ve been doing pretty well at keeping my posting commitments, and I uploaded a new post today about forgiveness (fitting, as Yom Kippur is right around the corner). Unfortunately, the last post uploaded was also by me, which makes it feel a bit like a “Lacey Blog” and also means it hasn’t seen any new material for two weeks.

Luckily, we do have a few new blog writers in the wings. BUT if you know anyone who is Catholic and progressive, or even vaguely Catholic (raised Catholic, considering conversion, Catholic-curious, etc.), send them over to nextgen-blog@cta-usa.org. Although CTA 20/30 is a progressive organization for Catholics in their 20s and 30s, it’s open to a pretty wide range of Catholic-esque perspectives, as long as said perspectives are respectful and open to dialog.

I’ve also recently finished writing a bit of a closeted blog I’d kept about my transition moving from Duluth to rural Minnesota. Because I wanted the opportunity to explore potentially personal topics, I never made the link very public, and I’m not doing so now, either. But it seemed appropriate to mark that blog’s passing here, too, as this is another topic-specific blog that I devoted myself to for a year and then eased up on. Although I’m keeping this blog’s doors open indefinitely, I’m going to try to take a break from opening any new “themed blogs” and keep my writing focus on my novels and existing journals — including my trusty, dusty Livejournal that I’ve kept since 2002.

Writing Women Back In

I’m writing myself back in to the Young Adults Catholic blog and hoping to get back on board with posting regularly again. Today’s post centers on my obsession with women and Catholicism.

Interestingly, two of my previous posts are both listed as “top” posts on the blog: one about Catholic guilt, and one entitled, Sex: What if God Just Doesn’t Care? The other top post today is Lightning Rod? Catholics and birth control. My “sex post” and the birth control post float to the top of that blog quite often. Regardless of whether God cares much about sex, people certainly do.

Yannabe Super Secret Blog Project

Young adult literature enthusiast and blogger, Yannabe, is hosting a blogging event — post about the “five best YA books you’ve never read.” The purpose is to give some much needed kudos to the wealth of brilliant YA books out there that don’t get a lot of sensationalized hype like, um, some YA novels do (no need to name names). I can’t wait to post about my favorite underappreciated YA books this Thursday. If you have a blog and read YA literature, I urge you to do the same!