Overwhelmed, or Just Lucky?

I thought about blogging today about how the upheaval in my personal life has once again been detrimental to my creative life. I’ve mentioned it here before, how hard it is for me to write in transition. For me, transition is the enemy of The Writing Life, whereas routine seems to be its best companion. As I write that now, I realize how ironic that is, because it is in the transitions that life truly happens; if it weren’t for transitions, what would we have to write about? Everyone knows that the hallmark of good fiction is character development, and a character that ultimately changes by story’s end. Memoir, too. So I’m going to keep living, and changing, and writing about it all in my journal — and maybe when the dust settles, I’ll be able to utilize it in fiction, too.

 

These days, my life feels like an endless to-do list, and I’m at the point where something has to go. Because it’s so hard for me to write in transition, I’ve decided to go easy on myself in this regard. But as I was feeling overwhelmed at the grocery store today, wondering how I would ever get it all done, I remembered a podcast I listened to by Gregg Braden last week. I’d never heard of him before, and I still don’t know much about him, including how credible he is or isn’t. But his work has to do with research to link whether our thoughts or, more specifically, our belief systems and deep-soul feelings, have the power to affect our reality. He claims that our thoughts are weak, but that when we deeply believe something, it has the power to impact our circumstances. And so, with this in mind, I try not to let myself get stuck in a feeling that I “can’t do it all” or that there’s “just too much.” I’m trying to consciously change my script to this:

 

I have enough time, money, and energy to meet my needs.

 

And when I remembered that this is what I want to learn to feel deeply, I immediately saw my dilemma from a whole new angle. Right now, I’m swamped with freelance work and wondering whether I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’m trying to decide whether I’ll need to let someone down or whether I just need to pull through this stretch, not drop any balls because I may need this work in the future. And that’s when I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have this problem. When I first started freelancing three years ago, I was petrified with the fear that I’d be without work and without a means to support myself. Money is incredibly tight right now … so what better time to be inundated with work? I can do this, one deep breath and changed script at a time. 

Oh, Internet, How I (Haven’t Really) Missed You

In the wee hours of Monday, September 20, my wireless router died quietly in its sleep. Monday morning, I was in denial. It will come back, I told myself. All morning, I did laundry and washed dishes. By noon, my Internet still wasn’t up. I gathered my courage, packed up my computer, and brought it to my parents’ place. On days that I’m not at the library, if I can’t get online, I can’t work. I accept and return all my assignments online, not to mention the regular email accounts that must be checked to make sure I don’t drop the ball on an all-important issue.

Yesterday, my Internet was still down. I went into the library half an hour early, where I accepted two orders from Scribendi using the library connection. Later that night, I went to my parents’ place again to download both orders to my flash drive, so that I could work on them offline until the Internet tech guy came out to my place at 4 today. That means that before 4 pm, there was no one around except me, Microsoft Word, and two long-ish manuscripts in need of editing. Both were due by the end of the day.

Last night, I estimated that the manuscripts would take me about 14 hours to edit; I wasn’t looking forward to the long day, but I need the money and both were at least interesting projects. I felt incredibly impressed with myself as I worked through the first manuscript before lunch; by the time the Internet guy came, I’d done my first pass on the second one, too. In all, both manuscripts took me about eight hours to complete, six hours fewer than I’d predicted. Now, this isn’t totally due to my lack of connectivity; both pieces were in better shape than the pieces I’m used to editing, and I based my estimation on word count alone without taking a peek at the skill of the writers. Still, there was something so incredibly satisfying about having no choice but to dig into those pages, at least while I was seated at my computer. Usually when I’m editing or writing something, a thousand distractions run through my mind: has that client’s payment been deposited into my checking account yet? Do I have new email at Yahoo? What about gmail? What were the guidelines of that publisher I thought might be a good fit for my work? Have any of my friends updated their Livejournals? What’s the current prize on Coppergoose? The gossip on Facebook? Should I update my progress on my “currently reading” shelf at Goodreads? What’s the meaning of sigil, anyway?

I’m sorry to say that my mind grabs onto these distractions when I start to feel bored or stuck with my current project, and I follow them wherever they may take me, taking just “one more click” like an addict needing one more puff on one more cigarette. I justify each one by saying it will only take a few minutes, which is usually true. But snippets of five or ten or fifteen minutes away from my work or my writing add up. The havoc it wreaks on my brain is even worse.

I still had many of these urges today. Knowing I didn’t have immediate gratification, they eventually subsided, and my focus improved. When I really needed a mental break, I had lunch, drank a cup of tea, took a power nap, and even watched an episode of Sex and the City. The difference between this and my usual working habits were that each of those activities had a clear end point. The food and tea run out. Sex and the City episodes are less than 30 minutes long. I had to wake up to let the Internet guy in. This means I was more productive than usual today, but I didn’t feel totally burnt out at the end of it. That’s because I didn’t throw all those tiny increments of time away on the rabbit hole that is the Internet, a place in which there is no end in sight, and willpower alone is your only salvation.

I found myself feeling a little let down when the Internet was back up again. Now that barrage of distractions would once again be part of my life. Not having the Internet in my home isn’t an option; for me, no Internet means no income. Still, it occurred to me for the first time that I have power over whether my computer is connected to the Internet or not. So when I settled in to finish my edits, post-Internet, I pulled the plug on it until I was ready to upload my completed assignments.

What a relief to realize that I have a choice! Sure, the Internet is still only a click away, but that extra step of having to reconnect it makes me think twice before I chase whatever random whim sounds more fun than my work. I’m making a commitment right now to disconnect the Internet when I need to be intensely engaged with writing or editing. I’ve known for a while that multi-tasking is bad for my brain, but now I’m finally going to do something about it. I challenge you to do the same.

 

Finish What You Start

On the Belbin Team Inventory, I score as the Finisher. This may be why I haven’t often fallen into the trap that snags many writers, of starting multiple projects but finishing none of them. That is, I haven’t fallen into that trap until … lately, when I’m in the middle of editing an anthology, writing a short story, submitting a novel, and still hoping to enter at least two contests, apply for a grant, and maybe write an essay or two.

So when I read these Six Tips for Finishing What You Start on Susan K. Perry’s blog (Susan is an author I “follow” on Goodreads), they resonated with me in a way they wouldn’t have in the past–especially tip number one, about keeping a schedule. I can definitely attest to the importance of keeping a schedule in finishing writing projects, and not sticking to this schedule has been my downfall in the past couple months. As a part-time freelancer, sometimes my schedule is too flexible for my own good. My writing time gets shifted around from day-to-day … and sometimes, it gets shifted right off the agenda. So here I am, once more making a renewed commitment to write first-thing in the morning, every morning. On days that I’m working from home, my day starts when I say it starts; and on days when I work at the library, I rarely have to be in before noon. So in theory, writing consistently first thing in the morning shouldn’t be hard. Except, it is hard.

It’s hard because writing at any time of day is hard. It’s hard because no one wants to start off their day doing something as grueling as writing can sometimes be. But for me, there’s something that’s even harder: writing at ANY other time of day.

When I don’t write first-thing in the morning, I have lots of excuses as to why: I needed to see if I had any assignments that were “on fire” and in need of immediate attention. I’m at a loss for inspiration and hoping that it will come to me throughout the day. But although waiting sometimes brings results, I honestly can’t feel good about my day until after I’ve worked on a writing project. So if I work on my writing first thing in the morning, I go into the rest of my day knowing that the hardest part is behind me–and feeling a weight lifted from my shoulders. And if that elusive inspiration really does strike as the day goes on, well, there’s no rule against writing twice in the same day, is there?

So now, I’m off to bed–I have to wake up early for writing tomorrow.

Freelance Editors Wanted

I got word last week that one of my main freelance clients, Scribendi, is hiring more remote editors. Scribendi is an online editorial services company. I’ve been working for Scribendi for two years, and I think it’s a great gig. Here’s why:

• The work is steady. This is a biggie, as we all know how tenuous a lifestyle freelancing can be (and if you haven’t found this to be the case, I want to know your secret!) This is because the good folks at Scribendi do all the promotion and outreach to clients, which frees up their editors to focus on what they do best: edit.
• The work is diverse. I never know for certain what I’ll get to edit for Scribendi, and this keeps things interesting. I’ve edited love letters and letters to the president, novel manuscripts, scientific reports, admissions essays, company policies, and more. The majority of Scribendi’s clients are academics, particularly academics who are writing in English as their second language, so comfort working with ESL writing will benefit you.
• The work is flexible. You can work on weekends and evenings if that suits you best, try to keep to a 9-to-5 (although I recommend working outside of these hours for the most diverse projects), or earn some money in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep (I’ve done this several times, and it sure beats staring at the ceiling.) Right now, Scribendi is prioritizing editors who can commit to editing at least 10,000 words a month. I edit for them part-time, and I’m at 26,000 words for the month of July, so 10,000 words/month is reasonable if you can devote 10 or more hours to editing per week.

Of course, that leaves the big question: money. Pricing on Scribendi is done according to project, and depends on the type of job (editing, proofreading, academic, ESL, writing, etc.), the length of the piece, and the deadline. At my editing speed, I make between $12-$35 an hour, depending on the project. Scribendi also offers incentives for picking up projects on weekends or when they’re running late, for receiving positive feedback from clients, or for getting a repeat order from a client (clients can request you when they place their orders if they’ve been happy with your work in the past).

You can learn more about Scribendi’s application process here. Please mention me if you’re asked who referred you. And feel free to ask any additional questions in the comments!

New Life to Freelancing

I admit that in the past year or so, I’ve fallen into a bit of a routine (rut?) when it comes to my freelance work. I get half of my income, steadily, through my job at the library — which is wonderful, by the way. I definitely recommend part-time work to freelancers or would-be-freelancers, since the stability of that paycheck takes a lot of the pressure off accepting any assignment that comes your way, no matter how ill-fitted you are for it, just to make sure the lights stay on.

But part of that routine has robbed me of the motivation I once had to pursue new avenues for business. The very first day after I had quit my full-time job, one of my main freelance clients cut my pay by 25% (these cuts were made to all their editors, btw). Although I panicked, in some ways, the timing was perfect. Because if it had happened just one workday earlier, I would have been tempted not to pursue my dream of freelancing after all. As it was, I’d already jumped in the river. And I knew I was going to have to find something else, and fast. That was in November 2008. I put out pitches and applications every Friday, even though that meant I had no earning potential on those Fridays. By January, I’d been taken on by Scribendi, which is where I continue to get the bulk of my non-library income.

As I prepare to get married next year, I’m reassessing everything in my life, from how many clothes are in my closet to how many hours I should be spending per day on my writing. My fiance has offered to make me a “real” website to direct people to who might want to check out my services. I’m going to hire my sister to design the logo that will run along the top of the site when I change my “business name” from Lacey Louwagie to … something else. I want to get back into the habit of devoting Fridays to investigating new leads. And I might even — gasp — spend money on advertising.

It’s good to have a routine, to not have to worry every day whether I’ll make enough money to eat or fill my car with gas or run my AC. But it’s good to be shaken up every once in a while, too. I look forward to seeing what will happen with my writing life in what promises to be the biggest shake-up my life has ever known.

Up to My Eyeballs

My status over at gmail, which is where I keep my “freelance/writing” account, claims that I’m “up to my eyeballs in writing projects.”

And the end of the year certainly is a busy time for writers, but now that we’re on the last day of November, I’m finally able to tick some of those items off my list.

1. NaNoWriMo. No, I didn’t participate this year. But I did spy on my friends who were participating. How did you do? And when can I read your stories?
2. The McSweeny’s Highwire Fiction Award: This is a grant given to a woman younger than 32 to work on her writing. I sent my application off the week before Thanksgiving, and it wasn’t nearly as daunting as I expected it to be. The moral? Don’t ignore opportunities because they seem hard in your mind. Try it before you decide how “hard” it is.
3. The Gotham YA Novel Discovery Contest: This contest requires only the first 250 words and title of your novel, along with a $15 entry fee. I entered it last year, but the rules didn’t say anything about not being able to enter the same novel twice. So, I did. I’m sure the first 250 words are better this time around, anyway.
4. The PAD Chapbook Challenge: I wrote 30 poems in November, y’all! Although I’ve won NaNoWriMo 3 times, this is the first time I’ve successfully completed a poetry challenge. Now I’m putting them aside as I focus on December’s projects.

Numbers 1 – 4 above ALL have November 30 deadlines. What does that mean? If you read this post immediately after it goes up, there might still be time for you!!

Now that those writing adventures are behind me, I can focus on these, in deadline order:

1. Finishing the revision on my final chapter of the YA novel, in time to turn it over to my writers’ group on December 11th.
2. Frantically spit, polish, and shine said novel between December 17 (writers’ group) and December 31 (Delacorte Press First Young Adult Novel Contest deadline).
3. Turn my attention to this jumble of 30 poems and perform same treatment on them to send them off for the January 5 PAD Chapbook Challenge deadline.
4. Prepare a curriculum for Writing for Expression, Reflection, and Legacy, a writing class I’m teaching to senior citizens this spring.
5. And after the class ends in April? There appears to be . . . a void. For now. I can’t wait to see what fills it!

Happy Anniversary, LL Word

Well, today is the exact one-year anniversary of this blog; I began it on November 3, 2008. At that time, I was only a few days into my life as a full-time freelancer, full of questions and fear and enthusiasm. That first month, I definitely bit off a little more than I could chew — working far more than 40 hrs a week for my two main clients at the time, participating in NaNoWriMo (a year later, I’m still untangling the messiest first draft I’ve ever written!), updating this blog daily, and running around to conferences and election events. My life has definitely balanced out quite a bit since then. I’m always busy, but my life no longer has that “working-all-the-time” feeling. This is a very, very good thing.

I started freelancing last year with two clients: my previous employer, New Moon Girl Media, and a self-publisher. On my first day as a freelancer, the self-publisher I worked with dropped the rates they paid their freelancers by 25%. Yikes! It sent me into a minor panic, which also motivated me to find more reliable clients (in true worry-wart fashion, I’d worked for the self-publisher for four months at decent rates before I made the decision to transition to a full-time freelance lifestyle, only to have that security shaken within the first day “on the job”!)

The lowered rates, along with an increasingly unreliable payment schedule, urged me to drop that client as soon as I had more reliable work, although I enjoyed the work very, very much (in case you’re wondering, I’m not naming them because for the most part, I feel like, if you can’t say something nice on the Internet, be vague — or privacy protect your entries). In January, I started working for Scribendi, which I’ve loved. The work is varied and steady, the pay schedule is regular and reliable, and overall, they maintain their business with the utmost professionalism.  I also wrote a handful of articles for Demand Studios when things with my other cients slowed down and pursued my  publication goals, which resulted in . . .

• A sell to the Unsent Letters anthology, forthcoming (and my only work published under a pen name)
• A sell to Queer Dimensions of my short story, “The Man in the Mirror”
• Acceptance of my essay “Where I First Met God” by Unruly Catholic Women Writers II and a so-far unnamed anthology about lesbianism and Catholicism
• Publication of my article, Spiritual and Virtual, in ChurchWatch
• Initial interest in an article on head-hopping by Writers’ Journal

I also received a few rejections, but surprisingly, fewer than my acceptances. They still sting. But I’ve learned a lot about the value of submitting something a market wants, when they want it. A lot of my acceptances came from writing something new specific to the call for submissions, rather than digging through my repertoire for something that might fit. I’m still pursuing “my own things” with hopes that the markets will come later, but this has been an invaluable way to actually build up my list of publishing credits.

Although frightened by the “insecurity” of full-time freelancing, I resolved when I began not to jump ship too quickly, to try to give it at least a year before pursuing more “traditional” employment in any concerted manner. I did apply to one full-time position during that year because the opportunity was too good to pass up; I made it into the “final round” but didn’t get an interview. Last night, on the eve of my one-year anniversary, I was offered more “traditional” employment once more, and I accepted. My orientation starts tomorrow for a part-time teen librarian position.

I’m excited about a lot of things — the chance to work in a library!, another source of steady income, enough time and flexibility to continue doing freelance work. I’m nervous about a few things, like not being able to work in my jammies, having to drive in Minnesota winters again, and finding a way to balance it all. The position is temporary, through January, so I’m going to keep everything on my plate until then, and reasses as necessary when January rolls around.

I’ve also reflected a bit on what role I want LL Word to play in my future. I started this blog as something of an experiment, to see whether I could find enough to say about writing-related topics to update it three times a week (preferably every weekday, however), to keep me accountable to my goals, to chronicle this scary adventure I was undertaking, and to give me a home on the web to refer potential clients to. I’ve very much enjoyed the conversations with my regular readers, and have been pleasantly surprised by the occasional lurker who comes out of the woodwork.

As for LL Word’s future: I plan to continue blogging here, although I expect to be a little less “hardcore” about it in its second year. I love blogging, but at least in these next few months as I adjust to my new job, something may have to give. I don’t want that to be my other clients or my novel — or my relationships. So, please keep your bookmarks active, as I’ll continue to be around. I’m just not going to let myself wallow in guilt if it goes unupdated for a stretch here and there (a note about me: my work personality type is “finisher,” which means I hold myself pretty tyranically to self-set goals, even without any “outside” motivating factor like money or publication. Usually, this pays off. Sometimes, it just wears me out).

Speaking of unupdated stretches, you can expect things to be pretty quiet around here during my upcoming European adventure (November 9 – 25), but I invite you to check out my friend Jenn’s chronicle of her NaNoWriMo-ing adeventures over at CoveredInInk. Bonus: her posts sometimes include pictures of her kitty!

Books and Busy-ness (or Business)

Yesterday, the day I’d been waiting for all summer arrived: my local library’s annual booksale.

For the first time (at my mom’s insistence), I paid $10 to get into the “pre-sale” and was there when the doors opened. The pre-sale price was defintely worth it — I’ve never enjoyed such a wide selection at a library booksale before! I came away with 44 books for $30 (well, $40 if you count the presale fee, but that’s still less than a buck a book!) Over the next few days, I’ll be uploading my finds to LibraryThing if you’re really curious. The biggest gem was a paperback, like-new copy of The Tale of the Genji, arguably the first novel ever written. I’ve been looking for an affordable copy of this since I edited an article about its author, Lady Murasaki, for New Moon Girls magazine. In other news . . .

• Speaking of New Moon Girls, a few days ago I posted about their donation campaign, in which you can donate to give New Moon Girls to libraries, schools, or girls’ organizations. If YOU work for or know of a library, school, or organization that should be the recipient of a New Moon gift, you can email New Moon to put your name on the list.
• I recently received my second high-scoring review from Scribendi, the editorial services company I contract with. This means I’m being “promoted” to a higher service level, and that I’ll have access to more orders. If you’re ever in need of a good edit, Scribendi provides high-quality (if I do say so myself) edits at rates that are cheaper than most private editors.
• Despite the 44 books that cheerfully opened this entry, I realized when I got home that I’d forgotten to pick up a book about gardening to help me turn my brown thumb green when I have the land to plant on. So, yes, I’m going to the book sale again today. Wish me luck — or restraint!

Finding Freelance Writing Jobs

My friend Jenny recently posted this video in her blog, and I think it’s worth sharing here.

This video brought about an “Ah yes, of course!” moment for me. The tips are really commonsense, yet I’d never used them before. I’d been spinning my wheels with phrases like, “writing jobs,” and “freelance writing jobs,” which typically brings up a lot of questionable websites promising big bucks for little effort. Rob’s site, DailyWritingJobs, is similar in tone, but if this video is any indication, he probably does have some good information.

The video is a lot longer than it needs to be, so you won’t miss much if you cut out early. And I couldn’t help but cringe at the reference to “parentheses” when he’s using quotation marks. Where’s a good editor when you need one?

Myths and Realities of Freelancing

Elance recently ran this article on “debunking the myths of freelancing.” I didn’t subscribe to most of these ideas before I started freelancing, and I don’t think most people do–which is why most people fight to keep their 9 – 5 at all costs. Myth #4: “You’ll have lots of personal time to have fun and relax” did hit close to home, though. It’s also in line with the most accurate warning I ever heard about freelancing: Remember that you’re going from working “full-time” to working “all-the-time.”

I said, “Uh-uh, not gonna be me. I am not one of those people who will work all the time.”

But that phrase has certainly come back to haunt me in my first year as a freelancer–when I look at the clock and realize it’s almost time for bed, and I’m still working; when I check available assignments one more time, even though I don’t have time to start a new one; when I squeezed in a few hours of work on Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, and more than a few hours on every single weekend. My work is always across the room from me, and there’s always, always one more thing to do. I no longer have the luxury of going home at the end of the day.

This is not a pity party I’m throwing for myself, but a simple acknowledgment of the reality. It was a reality I didn’t fully acknowledge before I left my full-time job, and here’s why: making the switch from traditional employment to full-time freelancing is really, really, really scary. I knew before I left my job that I was romanticizing my upcoming life as a freelancer — but that was OK. Romanticizing the future is sometimes the only way to get off your duff and move into the future. And moving forward it preferable to being stuck, no matter how comfy being stuck is.

And I’m glad I chose to move forward. Because, although I’m working more than I’ve ever worked before, I’m also writing more than I’ve ever written before, and that was the ultimate goal of this career transition. There are certainly days when I ask myself what I’ve gotten into, but there are other days when I have to pinch myself to know it’s really true: somehow I’m paying my bills, and I don’t have a “real job.”

It is possible. Not easy, but possible. The fact that this security-loving, change-resistant, marketing-reluctant girl can make a go of it proves that point.