Today’s “Year in the Life” exercise asked me to write a “motto” for my life right now. I went for the first thing that came to my mind (because these exercises are supposed to be about writing, right, and not sitting there thinking of what to write?)
The first motto that came to mind for me was: I am growing.
I imagine it with an image of a flower opening to the sun.
My second thoughts were that people would misunderstand the motto, that they’d think it meant I was a child, or pregnant.
But it encapsulates my sense of life as a journey, of myself as unfinished. By doing these exercises, I am growing as a writer. By sending submissions and accepting rejection, I am growing a thicker skin and my chances at publication. By reading, I am growing my understanding of life’s mysteries, from fairy tales to marriage to God. And as a wife, I continue in my hopes to grow ever-closer to my darling Ivan, and to grow closer to the selfless, Godly love I’m called to live out in marriage.
I am 32 years old, but I am still “growing up,” still trying to get my life smoothed out enough that we can feel ready to start “growing” a family, and then I’ll see my own body growing in new and unusual and beautiful ways, too. And if marriage is a spiritual journey, how much more growing I will discover the need to do when I am a parent.
When I was a child, I never wanted to “grow up.” I think my mind would have been at ease if I’d realized then that I would never be done growing.